Broken Foot Update

As of today it has been exactly thirty days since I broke my foot.

Within the first two weeks of the injury I had the pleasure of wearing three different casts. The first cast, a splint of sorts, was given to me by the emergency department until I was able to follow up with a specialist.

The second cast, bright red, was given to me by the specialist two days after I broke my foot. Five days later we had to cut the cast off because I somehow managed to not cover it properly for a shower and wound up soaking it.

The third, and so far final, cast (hot pink color) was a replacement for the soaked cast and I wore it for less than thirty minutes. When the cast was being applied I had to flex my foot and managed to hyperflex my toes as well. Once the cast dried I realized having my toes in that position for another three weeks was not possible because it was painful AND uncomfortable so I asked the doctor to cut it off.

Instead of applying another cast I was given a "CAM Boot" that is specifically made for metatarsal injuries AND I could go back to work because I was able to walk with it.

I managed to work for approximately two weeks when my next doctor appointment rolled around and my foot/ankle was x-rayed again. When the doctor slapped my x-rays up on the screen I knew instantly what he was going to say and my eyes started to well up with tears. The x-rays showed absolutely no healing and although I could continue wearing the boot, I was remanded to using crutches 100% of the time.

Which means I cannot work. Which means I have cabin-fever in the worst way and I'm tired of laying around. I can still drive (because I broke my left foot) and many stores have motorized wheelchairs, but it takes forever for me to get ready to even leave the house so I don't do it very often.

What most people don't realize is the enormous amount of energy it takes for your body to heal a broken bone, so a trip out of the house is exhausting.

...sigh...

Hunter is 12!

Okay, so I'm a few weeks late in posting this, but I am proud to say that Hunter turned 12 years-old on February 2nd. Relieved, too. There was a time -- well, actually, a LOT of times, I wondered if he would.

I look back over his life -- from the first time I heard his heartbeat to now -- and I stand in awe of him. Bringing him into this world at the proper gestational age and bringing him into this world alive was not an easy thing to do. Especially because I did it by myself.

A few weeks ago and at his request, I shaved Hunter's head. As I was removing chunks of hair from his scalp I couldn't help but stare at him. Several times during the process he would tilt his head a certain way, or look at me a certain way, and it was as though I was looking at his brother, Connor. The resemblance would be even more frightening if each of them shared the same eye color. Hunter has very dark brown eyes and Connor's are a bright, brilliant blue.

Happy Birthday, Hunter Bear!

What I Heard

I feel we are at an impasse; purposely avoiding the full-size elephant standing in the center of the room.

What I heard him say the other day at lunch was that he felt I have never put everything I could into our marriage. I can't remember if I even replied to that statement because all I felt at the time was the radiating pain from the enormous punch to my gut.

All I can say right now is he is entitled to his feelings, just as I am entitled to mine. We are different people, with different opinions and very different points of view.

I feel he has never recovered from the night I tried to overdose -- and that he harbors deep resentment and anger toward me because of it.

Of course, I could be wrong.