With all the "alone" time I've had the last ten weeks, I've spent a great deal of it thinking about where I came from, how I arrived at this moment in time, my mistakes (a lot), my triumph's (a few) and all the would'a, could'a, should'as that I let slip by me.
Some passed by me deliberately -- or simply by design. Other's were too good to be true and my kitten curiosity got the better of me so I took a much closer look, got scratched, and set them on their way again.
Then there were the opportunities that I sought out willingly; having researched all the angles and having viewed everything under an electron microscope, I thought for certain they would be the right things for me to pursue.
What I didn't know at the time, nor did I listen to what people were trying to tell me -- I refused to listen -- has taken me 14 months to finally figure out on my own.
One of my biggest flaws is that I try very hard to see the good in every person. A person can take advantage of me numerous times, sometimes over a period of several years, before I finally have an epiphany.
As difficult as it was to realize, it was much harder to admit to myself, that there really are people in this world who whisper sweet nothings in your ear, tell you everything you want to hear, treat you like you exist only for them, all the while luring you and others into their evil games with promises of 'forever' dripping off their forked tongues.
Once they have you trapped, they fall back on an imagined addiction and how they need to get "sober" and -- POOF! -- they drop completely off the radar.
They don't bother telling you that you have served your purpose for their little games first so you can attempt to find some sort of closure, that would be too easy. They just vanish.
Then they pop up again, attempting to pick up where they left off before they needed to get "sober". So, you listen to them, your heart aching for everything they've been through. Then you find out that they've been recruiting others just like you since they dropped off the radar with you.
And then, they fall off the radar again, as abruptly as they had reappeared just hours before. This time you are not content with the "addiction", "sober" crap that they have been spoon feeding you and you vow to get the last word.
*Note I said 'word'.*
People like this don't know the meaning of the word respect, they don't realize that what THEY are doing is the sole cause of pain to those closest to them.
I guess some of them are just lucky enough to have a person who always has (and always will be) their "clean-up person".
These people don't have "addictions", what they really have, in their own minds, are justifications for treating people horribly without any consequences whatsoever.
They don't know what love is, they've never felt it, or given it.
They don't know when a person with the purest of intentions comes to them. All they see is their next victim.
They can wish someone all the "love and happiness in the world" they want.
It will never make up for the people they almost destroyed while they were so hell-bent on playing their evil games.
Some passed by me deliberately -- or simply by design. Other's were too good to be true and my kitten curiosity got the better of me so I took a much closer look, got scratched, and set them on their way again.
Then there were the opportunities that I sought out willingly; having researched all the angles and having viewed everything under an electron microscope, I thought for certain they would be the right things for me to pursue.
What I didn't know at the time, nor did I listen to what people were trying to tell me -- I refused to listen -- has taken me 14 months to finally figure out on my own.
One of my biggest flaws is that I try very hard to see the good in every person. A person can take advantage of me numerous times, sometimes over a period of several years, before I finally have an epiphany.
As difficult as it was to realize, it was much harder to admit to myself, that there really are people in this world who whisper sweet nothings in your ear, tell you everything you want to hear, treat you like you exist only for them, all the while luring you and others into their evil games with promises of 'forever' dripping off their forked tongues.
Once they have you trapped, they fall back on an imagined addiction and how they need to get "sober" and -- POOF! -- they drop completely off the radar.
They don't bother telling you that you have served your purpose for their little games first so you can attempt to find some sort of closure, that would be too easy. They just vanish.
Then they pop up again, attempting to pick up where they left off before they needed to get "sober". So, you listen to them, your heart aching for everything they've been through. Then you find out that they've been recruiting others just like you since they dropped off the radar with you.
And then, they fall off the radar again, as abruptly as they had reappeared just hours before. This time you are not content with the "addiction", "sober" crap that they have been spoon feeding you and you vow to get the last word.
*Note I said 'word'.*
People like this don't know the meaning of the word respect, they don't realize that what THEY are doing is the sole cause of pain to those closest to them.
I guess some of them are just lucky enough to have a person who always has (and always will be) their "clean-up person".
These people don't have "addictions", what they really have, in their own minds, are justifications for treating people horribly without any consequences whatsoever.
They don't know what love is, they've never felt it, or given it.
They don't know when a person with the purest of intentions comes to them. All they see is their next victim.
They can wish someone all the "love and happiness in the world" they want.
It will never make up for the people they almost destroyed while they were so hell-bent on playing their evil games.