"Day 74"

Hunter is spending his first night away from Hawthorn! I finally have all 5 of my boys sleeping under one roof and I'm overwhelmed. In a good way. I was nervous and apprehensive but all of that melted when we sang Happy Birthday to Hunter.

Although his official birthday isn't until Monday, February 2nd, we grasped the opportunity to make it a celebration of, not only Hunter's birthday, but a celebration of a family unit.

Hunter has been working so hard at Hawthorn and the changes I see are subtle -- but they ARE there.

I was nervouse about Hunter's transition back to his home, but it was fine. Matthew, Connor and Jake welcomed him with hugs and cheers that he was home. Henry was thrilled to have him here, too -- and decorated the dining room with streamers and balloons for his birthday celebration.

Unbeknownst to everyone else, I was celebrating so many things today. I am celebrating:

• Hunter's birthday
• Hunter's hard work at Hawthorn
• The lives of my childreN
• The love of my life
• My life
• Making it through the rain
• Holding on and digging in
• Opening my ears and mouth
• Learning how precious we are

When I picked Hunter up, he was excited but seemed a little nervous -- and rightly so. He was spending 24 hours away from a facility he's been connected to for 74 fays and it's a huge structure change.

At least our disciplining and redirection methods are in line with Hawthorn. I can't help but feel incredibly proud that we're able to walk into Hawthorn with so many behavior modifications already in place.

I am also very proud that we've kept detailed records of where we've been, what we've done, people we've met along the way.We did everything right -- even though somethimes it feels like we've done everything wrong.

Hunter is where he needs to be. It breaks my heart and shreds my soul, but it's what's right for him.Henry and I have had to advocate loudly, make our presence known loud and clear and fight battles many parents, sadly, walk away from.

Without Henry by my side, there is no way Hunter and I would have survived. Beyond the shadow of a doubt.

We celebrated Hunter's birthday with homemade cupcakes, a few gifts he can take back to Hawthorn and an out of tune rendition of "Happy Birthday".All the boys played video games until it was time to leave for soccer.

Hunter and I did not come straight home from Hawthorn. We stopped at McD's and a department store - kind of stalling so Henry could get all the decorations up.

Hunter was amazing in the department store. He pushed the cart, handled (infrequent) no's and stayed right with me. This is unusual - the "old" Hunter.

At the soccer game he was very active with Connor and Matthew, with no frustration or agitation. He seemed at ease and we gave him room to roam. He did extremely well shopping and attending Jake's soccer game. Especially since both places were loud and chaotic -- two of Hunter's triggers.

After soccer we watched "Finding Nemo" (a delightful movie). Connor fell asleep, I tucked Hunter on the couch while Henry, Matthew and Jake went off to play video games. So far, Hunter has been quiet. I told him to knock on my door if he needed anything.

Thank you, God, for another day.