For a long while now I have had this overwhelming need to reconnect to my childhood by visiting the various houses, schools and neighborhoods I grew up in. I have this unsettling feeling of being disconnected; without an anchor and I'm not sure what to do.
The one constant connection I had to my childhood was my Grandmother but when she passed away five years ago she took that link with her. I never imagined how empty my heart would feel when I could no longer reach out and touch her.
A couple of weeks ago I took a road trip back to the little town I (mostly) grew up in. I took pictures of several of the houses we lived in as well as schools I attended. I drove through the various neighborhoods I hung around and passed houses where friends once dwelled.
I visited the cemetery where my brother, paternal grandparents and great-grandparents are buried near an aunt I never knew and an uncle who died too soon.
Although this little town holds so much of my family's history, secrets, nightmares and memories, I finally reconciled the fact that it was not my "home". It never was and it never would be.
Instead, my home is here, with my wonderful husband and boys. It always has been and forever it will be.
The one constant connection I had to my childhood was my Grandmother but when she passed away five years ago she took that link with her. I never imagined how empty my heart would feel when I could no longer reach out and touch her.
A couple of weeks ago I took a road trip back to the little town I (mostly) grew up in. I took pictures of several of the houses we lived in as well as schools I attended. I drove through the various neighborhoods I hung around and passed houses where friends once dwelled.
I visited the cemetery where my brother, paternal grandparents and great-grandparents are buried near an aunt I never knew and an uncle who died too soon.
Although this little town holds so much of my family's history, secrets, nightmares and memories, I finally reconciled the fact that it was not my "home". It never was and it never would be.
Instead, my home is here, with my wonderful husband and boys. It always has been and forever it will be.
No comments:
Post a Comment