Tuesday, May 5, 2009

25 Years Ago, May 4th

I was given a flower and a note by someone that meant a great deal to me. That still means a great deal to me and because of that, I put that flower and its accompanying note into a scrapbook for future reference.

Recently I pulled that scrapbook out and flipped through the pages that were representative of my junior and senior years of high school. As I turned page after page I realized that, although my scrapbook contained many, many things -- including that flower and note -- the one thing it did not, could not, contain were the range of emotions I felt during that period of time.

The passion of being deeply in love with the man who gave me that flower and that handwritten note. The sensation of having become pregnant by him, and, in the blink of an eye, the heartbreaking way the baby was lost.

I have so many unanswered questions, that have been simmering inside of me, for 25 years. I desperately need closure where I am almost certain there will be none.

The myriad of emotions that cannot be contained in that scrapbook are now written all over my face...and represented in the tears sliding down my cheeks.

Just one more day, one more chance, one more opportunity to be...

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