Myths of Grief

1. Time heals all pain.
2. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
3. Tomorrow is another day.
4. Keep your chin up.
5. You're strong, you will get through this.

I, on the other hand, tell people who are grieving or going through any difficult situation that, "Everything you are feeling at any given moment in time is Just. Right. For. YOU.  So feel it. Immerse yourself in it. Wallow in it if you need to.  Just. Feel. It."

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There is no 'right' way or 'wrong' way to grieve.  There is no 'Grieving Book for Dummies'.  It is a pain that can't be touched or measured or displayed on a wall for everyone to see.  It is a pain we cannot escape from.  Not even in - or especially in - our dreams.

The devastating and sometimes overwhelming pain I felt at the loss of my son 17 years ago has mostly become a comfortable ache - yet it doesn't take much, sometimes nothing at all, for that pain to flair and I am thrown head first into that moment again...that moment I was holding my tiny son in my arms and the doctor looked at me...and I knew...

For me it was a close contest in which was worse; losing my son, or the fact that the world didn't stop turning to acknowledge my loss and grief...