Saturday, August 9, 2014

A Cellphone Changes Everything

A few days after that stupid "game" I had asked Hunter to let me have his cellphone before going to bed.  It was not as a punishment; he was not in trouble.  It was just that he had made a comment that he was having trouble sleeping and I knew that he sometimes texts a little later into the night than he should, so it was just for one night; a Thursday night.  He actually handed it over without a fight and I reiterated again that he was not being punished for anything, I just wanted to see if he would sleep better without it so close at hand.  Not thinking anything of it at the time, he made a comment before closing his bedroom door that if I was taking his phone away then he wasn't going to school the next day.

The next morning I wake Hunter up for school as usual and remind him about his meds.  He's lolly gagging around -- which is normal for him.  I continue getting ready for work and reminding him at regular intervals that he needs to get up, eat breakfast and take his meds.  Typical morning routine. Pretty soon it's slipped past "normal routine" into Hunter saying, "I told you last night if you took my phone away I wasn't going to school today."  "Hunter, I told you that giving me your phone last night was NOT a punishment. You did nothing wrong. I was only hoping that because you said you weren't sleeping well that by not having your phone in your room you might sleep better."  It went downhill from there, and fast.

When Hunter gave me his phone the night before I placed it on the entertainment center, right next to the remote control, because when he gets up in the morning he likes to watch cartoons while eating breakfast so I knew he would find it.  Because he was still defiantly laying in bed and telling me he wasn't going to school and I needed to leave for work I told him I would call the bus garage and cancel his bus.  Except I didn't.  Because I knew Hunter would go to school.

Happy Birthday to me.

I had been at work, at the most, 10 minutes when I received a call from staff at his school telling me they think they saw Hunter walking on a sidewalk on X Road between Y and Z roads so I left work to see if it was him.  It was.  He was walking to school.  He was so angry with me about the phone that he refused to get into the car.  I told him I didn't cancel his bus because I knew he would go to school.  Which made him even angrier.  I phoned the local police department for assistance because I wasn't sure what Hunter would do, especially just a few days after falling unconscious onto a cement stoop.  I finally got Hunter into the car (30 minutes later) without the assistance of a police officer, and instead of taking him to school I made the decision to take him to the emergency department because Hunter was threatening, with plans of how, to kill me.  He was also telling me to "Wait until you see what I did to your bedroom."

While waiting in the emergency department for all the mental health services providers, approvals, etc. several staff members as well as security people were witness to Hunter's threat to kill not only me but several of them as well.  By the time Hunter was transferred back to the acute care wing of the residential treatment facility he was discharged from less than a year before, where staff members also witnessed Hunter's threats and methods to kill me, and I got home to see the damage Hunter did to my bedroom, it was almost 2:00 in the morning.  My birthday had come and gone.

Hunter had used a hammer to make holes in walls, my bedroom door and smash a mirror.  My things were strewn everywhere.  Glass shards all over my bed.  Things turned upside down.  I laid down on the couch and sobbed myself into an exhausted sleep.

When Hunter was discharged a few days later he asked me if it was okay if he went with his dad.  I told Hunter that I didn't think it was a good idea because his dad had made it a point to be only a speck in Hunter's life, regardless of how hard I tried to make it otherwise.  I also told Hunter that if that was what he wanted, I would support his decision because I wanted him to be successful and happy.  I asked Hunter why he wanted this change and he said, "Mom, I love you, but when I get angry I'm afraid that I would hurt you."

'nuff said.

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