It is difficult to explain to an average outsider what it is like to live on the inside of depression. It is frustratingly difficult to explain to two primary care physicians, whom I not only respect and admire, they have also become like a second family to me, who sincerely want to help, how deep and dark this hole I am currently in really is. I told one of the PCPs yesterday that I feel like I have nothing left to lose. Then I started to cry.
There is no crying at work!!
And it pisses me off every time I cry at work. It doesn't matter the reason. In fact I walked into work this morning in tears. Actually, it DOES matter the reason. I get furious when I cry at work because I am frustrated. That, to me, shows emotional weakness.
Today
I cried
simply
because
I was
sad.
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