Today I went to a Christmas party at CMH and for the first time, at least in my memory, I was in a room filled with people just like me! People with varying degrees and diagnoses of mental illness, schizophrenia, bipolar - everything. It was kind of like going home for a family reunion.
I met some wonderful people, my case manager and peer manager were both there serving up delicious food and drink. The pharmacy in the building donates personal care items and the staff put them in little Christmas-themed bags. We were also given hats and calendars and near the end they raffled off the mini poinsettias that had been doubling as table decorations. My number was the very last number called!
Jack was in a mood again tonight. It has FINALLY dawned on him that I will NOT be cleaning up after his lazy ass or the lazy asses of his kids.
Then he was trying to give me a line of bullshit about how I didn't do any cleaning before (I took off and slept in my car last weekend) and he was pissed because he said I couldn't keep the fire burning in the wood stove. Which is TOTAL bullshit. When I am home, I keep it stoked. If I'm not home, which I wasn't for a big chunk of the day - not my bad dumbass. The next time I hear him refer to me as "crazy" like he did tonight on the phone with his sister, he will regret it.
He didn't mention the "fix-me" ticket laying on the counter for the dog. Even though he had written a note on it that said I was supposed to have it done by the 28th. Uh. No. I offered when I first told him about it and he said "No, I'll take care of it." Then sat the stack of papers on top of his lunch box - where they sat for days. Not my problem, Jackass.
If only you knew what gratitude was, and appreciated things people did for you - you wouldn't be in this situation. Alas, here you are. And all the yelling and screaming at me only makes me dig my heels further. I grew up in a house where Mark was always in my face. Same thing in two of my marriages, I've learned how to tune it out.
Let this be your warning: don't ever posture yourself as if you were going to lay your hands on me. Because if you ever got physical with me, you better make absolute sure I'm dead.
Because in Round 2, I will kill you.
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