Brain Dead

Ugh.

My brain is deteriorating.

Not. Joking.

I knew there was a possibility this could happen, I just didn't know when. At some point the eleven electroconvulsive therapies in 2004 would catch up with me, right?

Now I know that it is 'normal' (whatever that means) to walk into the kitchen and forget what you went there for, right? It's something that people have laughed about for centuries, right? Except it's not just the kitchen scenario that I am dealing with here; it is affecting my daily existence.

I had been thinking a few months ago that my short-term memory was a little off. I had attributed it to the mountain of stress I had been buried under at the time, as well as the several months preceding it. Now that many of my stressors have been resolved, or at least alleviated, I am not so sure.

For example: while writing or reading I might think, "A cup of tea would be nice right now", and pause whatever it is I am doing at the time. By the time I get to my feet and take a step, I cannot remember what it is that I was going to do. Same thing with putting together a perpetual shopping list. I discover something that I need to pick up, like shampoo, and by the time I walk to the kitchen to put it on my list, I cannot remember to write what I was going to add to it. An hour or two later and 'shampoo' pops into my head. I have no idea why.

My medication has me on a pretty even keel, finally, and because I have taken the same meds for years, I would like to think that meds have nothing to do with it.

And so it goes.