Why?

My heart aches for the daughter of my friend Tim. The 5th anniversary of his tragic death just passed and I have noticed that his daughter has been posting a lot about drinking and getting drunk, something Tim didn't do at all.

Almost everyone who knew him respected his choice to abstain, except ONE. On his very last vacation he was sitting at a table with his female friend, whom he worked with, and another couple. While Tim enjoyed drinking soda everyone else was getting drunk.

Then his female friend turned to him and said, "You would have more fun if you were drinking with us!" Tim said he left the table so they could continue drinking without him and lost the last little bit of respect he had for that woman.

It was the evening of September 12, 2012 and I was sitting on the floor of Tim's bedroom, having just called my dad to wish him Happy Birthday, when he shared that information with me. I could see the hurt on his face - and disappointment - because he had been on-and-off dating this woman who, at the same time, was sleeping with another coworker; a relationship she started with the coworker a few years prior and the reason why their respective spouses divorced them.

I had no way of knowing that my staying with Tim that night, would be the last time we would stay up talking (with me crying about the loss of my son Alexander on September 13, 1995) or that the next morning, as I was leaving his house for work, I would stop in the middle of his garage and turn around to see Tim smiling at me with that huge crooked grin of his. As I stepped into my car he reminded me we would meet up after work at his house for pizza and finish the movie we started the night before and that we would stay in touch throughout the day.

The words, "I have a huge crush on you, Tim" were on the tip of my tongue and I will forever regret that I didn't tell him.

Now, Tim is gone. His college graduate daughter is drinking and getting drunk.

There is nothing I can do except miss one of my best friends, and pray for his daughter.