Dear Jake:
I am absolutely devastated by what happened between us last night. I am truly sorry, and I deeply regret, having yelled at you.
In an instant I turned in to a parent I vowed I would never be. I allowed myself to turn the hurt I was feeling overwhelmed with, to anger – and I shouldn't have. I just never imagined I could be so hurt by something you said to me.
Jake, you're right; I'm not your mother. I am not the woman who carried you for nine months, endured hours of painful labor and gave birth to. I was not the first person to ever hold you. As an infant, I am not the parent you kept up all night or barfed on. I wasn't the parent who rocked you to sleep or picked you up when you cried. I wasn't there when you cut your first tooth, learned how to crawl or when you took your first steps.
But, I am a woman who cannot imagine it being possible to love you any more than if I had done all those things. My love for, and deep commitment to you is because of you, the person you are, not because we share genetics.
Jake, I love you because you're YOU. In the entire universe, I was chosen to be your stepmother and for that, I am truly blessed.
Love,
Carrie
I am absolutely devastated by what happened between us last night. I am truly sorry, and I deeply regret, having yelled at you.
In an instant I turned in to a parent I vowed I would never be. I allowed myself to turn the hurt I was feeling overwhelmed with, to anger – and I shouldn't have. I just never imagined I could be so hurt by something you said to me.
Jake, you're right; I'm not your mother. I am not the woman who carried you for nine months, endured hours of painful labor and gave birth to. I was not the first person to ever hold you. As an infant, I am not the parent you kept up all night or barfed on. I wasn't the parent who rocked you to sleep or picked you up when you cried. I wasn't there when you cut your first tooth, learned how to crawl or when you took your first steps.
But, I am a woman who cannot imagine it being possible to love you any more than if I had done all those things. My love for, and deep commitment to you is because of you, the person you are, not because we share genetics.
Jake, I love you because you're YOU. In the entire universe, I was chosen to be your stepmother and for that, I am truly blessed.
Love,
Carrie
2 comments:
i'm sorry, carrie - it's so hard not to retaliate when we're hurt.
i hope you two have worked it out. i'm sure you will work it out. because you want to.
They all say it, Carrie. Even the ones who ARE your biological child scream the occasional "I hate you and i wish you weren't my mother."
You aren't alone there.
I wish for the two of you to find some common ground and some peace.
cp.
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