Frustratingly Frustrated

Yes, it's been well over one year since my last blog post and there is a reason for that.  I was told by Henry to not post anything on my blog about him - and because, next to Hunter, he is what consumes most of my thoughts in my every awake moment, I had nothing else to write about.

After giving his directive a lot of thought - and taking into consideration how high up on his list of priorities the status of our marriage is (hint: it's not even on it), and how much effort he puts into communicating with me (hint: he doesn't), as well as the last time we were actually in the same room with each other (June 2011), I have decided that this is *my* blog and as such, *I* will write about whatever I want to.  Up to and including him.

Wow.

That sounds bitchy and revengeful, doesn't it?  It's not meant to be either. I am frustratingly frustrated because I have had to keep the past 16 months of our separation - and everything that has happened during that time - bottled up and, to be quite honest, it's eating me alive.

I am so easily overwhelmed these days with thoughts and emotions that the only way I feel I can keep myself intact is to blog about a little at a time.  I have written before, more than once I imagine, that I am always terrified of opening the floodgates for fear of actually dissolving into a puddle on the floor...this time I feel that not only will I dissolve into a puddle on the floor, but that the puddle-o-me will actually seep through the cracks in the floorboards and I will disappear forever...