Connor, You Are My Son

I didn't raise you. I get that. Yet I gave birth to you. I love you more than life itself.

You are my son.

Mental illness forced me to choose what was best for you and me — and I chose what was best for you.

You are my son.

I did not abandon you. You were withheld from me.  I was called selfish when I was being selfless.

You are my son.

Oh how I wanted you with me! Yet no one encouraged our bond. You were too young to make these decisions for yourself.  The people that should have done this for you let you down.

You are my son.

It stung, at first, every time you called her mom. It broke my heart the few times you called me 'Carrie'. I always told you that you have two moms who love you very much, and I meant it every time.

You are my son.

I am grateful to your other mom for being there through it all, yet you have to know that I was there too, every minute of every day wishing that they had wanted you to know me too.  That YOU would want to know me too.  Because I am your mom too.

And you are my son.