There's No Crying In Snowboarding!

Yet I almost did just that, last night, while training on-hill for the senior patroller test coming up in March. Part of training for senior patroller involves learning new, and more advanced, snowboarding skills. Stepping outside of my comfort zone. Last night almost pushed me over the edge.

Struggling with a new maneuver on my board, I took a pretty hard fall on my butt, which threw me onto my back, whacking my helmeted head on the snow, flipping my snowboard over my head, my body following, where I landed on my back again and spun out like an 80's breakdancer.

I. Was. Pissed. And very frustrated.  I laid there on the snow for a minute assessing the situation. Except for the lightning bolt jolt up my spine and smacking my head on the hard-packed snow, my body was intact. I struggled to my feet, the aftershocks still climbing up and down my spine.  "Obie", the trainer, started toward me and I ranted about how I just couldn't do this, I would fail the senior test, I wouldn't even be ready...blah blah blah.

Now "Obie" has been my trainer ever since I joined the ski patrol. I like him as a trainer and I like him as a person. Last night I wanted no part of it. I have to give him props for the attempt at a "Rah! Rah!" though.

Riding up the chairlift together I told him I know I won't be on-hill testing for senior this year. I just won't be prepared. I still have to learn moguls and dragging a loaded toboggan through them...blah blah blah. And our lack of winter weather and snow time doesn't help and he said something along the lines of not worrying if I didn't test this year and not to focus so hard on this one thing.

My eyes started to burn with tears because in my head I was thinking, "Yes, I do need to focus on this one thing. This is all I have. No kids. No husband. No family. Nothing. This is it."

There's no crying in snowboarding!

Wuss.