Restless

I have so much on my mind that my thoughts are all over the place and not the least bit cohesive. My flight mode has me at the starting blocks, hunched over and trembling, waiting for the "ack" of the starters pistol as my signal to run like hell, then I will keep on running until I fall over dead.

I want people to stop telling me how strong I am to have lived through all the bullshit in my life. I want people to stop picking apart my life to find these little nuggets of positives and amazing things I have done as ways to talk me out of killing myself. 

My resolve, my decision and my pure stubbornness will keep all of you at arms length.  I don't need another betrayal and I won't survive another abandonment.