Domestic Violence x2, Assault & Battery

Eleven days ago, and in the wee hours of a Sunday morning, my eldest son Matthew was physically assaulted by his roommate - a big brute of a guy that outweighs him by about a hundred pounds. Matthew - being Matthew - shared this information by sending me a photograph of, what to me looked like a simple bloody nose. Upon closer inspection, I noticed his left nostril was partially disconnected from his face.

In my head I was completely freaking out. Just as I did with Hunter a few years ago, when the neighbor kid showed him how to play the "choking game". The only difference being that I was face-to-face with Hunter - and with Hunter having difficulty reading facial expressions - I had to stay upbeat and joke around with him.

I fell apart later though, after the emergency department gave us the all clear, and I could hide behind a closed bedroom door and bury myself under the mountain of blankets on my bed.

Since Matthew shared a photograph of the damage to his face before telling me what actually happened - my level of freaking was mild compared to the height my freak flew when I heard the rest of the story. Which took more than 24 hours to extract from him.

Then, I sobbed uncontrollably. Hidden behind the wall of technology.

The scuffle started when Matthew agreed with the roommate's girlfriend that he, the roommate, needed therapy for his explosive temper, fury and deep, dark depression - which he then unleashed on my son. While the RM (roommate)was pummeling Matthew to the floor, the RM's girlfriend fled the apartment and Matthew, curled into a ball on the floor of his bedroom, taking punches to his body, was quietly hoping she would call the police.

She.
Did.
Not.

The RM's GF (girlfriend) did NOT call the police - not during the beat down, not after, nor in the days following. I was livid.

Somehow, Matthew was able to get a ride to and dropped off at the emergency department by the RM and his girlfriend. Having no alternative place to stay, Matthew had no choice but to return to the apartment he shared with the bully and, fearing for his life, unable to close his eyes to sleep.

The next day Matthew was starting to feel the extent of the RM's anger with difficulty breathing from bruised ribs - and chest pains - his body ached all over.

The college term was nearing its end and Matthew was looking at several days of exams before winter break began and, with one term remaining, graduation is within his reach - he could not miss these exams.

The next day, after exams and consulting with an attorney, Matthew went to the police department and filed a complaint against his roommate. That night Matthew snuck into a classroom on campus and, compacting all 6'7" of himself, he crawled underneath a desk. For Matthew, it would be another night without sleep.

A few days later, the RM and his girlfriend went to see a midnight release of a new movie and, after returning to the apartment, RM wanted to tell Matthew all about it so Matthew gave him permission to enter his bedroom. Matthew did his best to keep the tone light and upbeat yet eventually the RM became agitated and started blaming Matthew for the recent assault. "You made me do it", he told to Matthew. When the RM got up to get a drink from the kitchen, Matthew closed his bedroom door and, whispering into his phone, summoned the police.

Timing is everything.

Just as the RM was headed back in the direction of Matthew's bedroom there was a knock on the apartment door. The RM, already quite irritated and wound up was not happy with the interruption, yet he did  change direction and answered the door - there were now two police officers standing in front of him.

The RM has yet to be arrested.

One of the police officers took Matthew to the student center on campus and, after obtaining permission from security, Matthew was allowed to stay in the building. Another sleepless night.

Finally, the exams were over, Matthew's car was road ready once again, and he has been staying with me since since last weekend.

I give Matthew a lot of credit for the way he has handled the whole situation. I know firsthand how terrifying it is to be in a situation like that. The shame, disappointment and anger felt in the aftermath of such an assault is overwhelming yet Matthew stepped forward and filed charges against a person he thought was his friend - who then quickly became his enemy. The pride I feel toward Matthew is immeasurable.

Thank you, Lord, for selecting me, out of the infinite number of possibilities available to you, to be Matthew's mom.