Start and Stop

Rarely have I started a new post only to delete it and this, my fourth attempt, may not survive either.

Pouring my heart out right now seems counterproductive because, after I pull myself together again, nothing has changed.

I'm beginning to think I like my own silence far too much because it's so easy for me to hide behind these walls. I don't feel the need to interact with people outside of work or ski patrol.

Someone asked me, very recently, what it is I'm looking for. I knew immediately what it is.

I want Henry. It's that simple. (I wish!)

He is still the last thing I think of as I'm falling to sleep, he is the first person I think of when I open my eyes. He is the first person I want to call when the world is spinning perfectly - or when it's off its axis.

He is in me. I want Henry.